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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nCalder Stokes <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 10, 2021 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you ever read the book Green Eggs and Ham<\/em>? It\u2019s by Dr. Seuss, who\u2019s kind of problematic at this point. But anyways, Green Eggs and Ham<\/em> is about this guy named Sam. And, this guy named Sam doesn\u2019t want to try green eggs and ham but at the end of the story, he finally tries green eggs and ham and he enjoys it. I feel like that\u2019s sort of been me at Fieldston. I feel like a lot of the times I\u2019ve looked at something and said something along the lines of \u201cI can\u2019t do this\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t want to do this\u201d or even \u201cthis isn\u2019t for me.\u201d But now that I\u2019m looking back, I think I could\u2019ve gotten a lot more out of it if I had an open approach to things. I definitely got a lot out of Fieldston and I\u2019m happy about that but I just wish I did more. You know how people say \u201cdon\u2019t sleep on me\u201d to other people? I feel like I slept on myself here at Fieldston. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Until junior year, I didn\u2019t do anything. I didn\u2019t join affinity groups, I didn\u2019t lead conversations, I wasn\u2019t involved in much. I sort of always just took the easy way out in fear of losing, and not being good enough. Like, for classes, I always took the easier classes that I knew I would get good grades in rather than pushing myself. I kind of did the same thing when it came to applying to colleges. I had interviews with a few places and one college was like \u201cyea if you apply early, you\u2019re getting in\u201d and I said \u201cokay\u201d and then I applied early and got in. And I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s a bad school or anything but it\u2019s definitely not the most competitive you know? I look back at it now and I\u2019m like \u201cdang, maybe I should\u2019ve applied to more schools that didn\u2019t say you\u2019re going to get in if you apply, maybe I should\u2019ve shot a little higher.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n I wish I did more in school and I wish I tried new and different things. I know I have more opportunities for new things because high school isn\u2019t the end of life. But, I wish I took more advantage of Fieldston because there\u2019s just so many resources. I guess this is my little thing or sentiment that I want to leave everybody with: take the opportunities that Fieldston gives you. Fieldston opens so many doors for you so make sure you take it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I had a lot of opportunities at Fieldton, especially being the FSG co-president, and I\u2019m sad to leave it all behind. I think Eli and Lena are gonna do a great job so I\u2019m not worried about passing it on. But, when we started and even when we won, Nina and I had very specific visions of what we wanted the school to be. Looking at the school now though, I genuinely cannot see that much change. From an inside perspective, I can say that we’ve spent a bazillion hours planning things and meeting with difficult people and doing anything we can to help our school. But, from the outside, there\u2019s no change to see, which makes me a little sad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I said this in my Founder\u2019s Day speech but it\u2019s important to recognize that the class 2022 is the last grade that was present in the lockout. And I think now it\u2019s kind of the responsibility of the class of 2022 to educate all the future incoming grades. It\u2019s your responsibility to make sure that the school doesn\u2019t forget about SOCM and their demands. Meet with the board. Prepare well. Have a clear agenda. Advocate for yourselves. That\u2019s all I really gotta say. But aside from that, enjoy high school. And listen to my music.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Olivia Pollack <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 10, 2021 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I feel pretty ready for the next stage of my life and I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any reason why I wouldn\u2019t be able to succeed in college. But it does feel like a really big next step. I really enjoyed my time in high school and just my experience at Fieldston. I\u2019ve been here since I was five. That\u2019s why it\u2019s just kind of hard to leave when it has been such a big presence in my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s kind of weird to think about how these are our last few days on campus. I wanted to go to practice one day and I didn\u2019t have a way to get there except for my dad taking and I realized it was the last time that he could ever take me to high school and that\u2019s just such a weird feeling. I guess that something I\u2019ve been thinking about is my legacy at this school. I\u2019m involved in a lot of things and I really enjoy being a part of them but it\u2019s hard to think that when I\u2019m gone, I\u2019m just gone. It\u2019s so hard to think that I have to let go of those things and even kind of forget about those things even though they were such a big part of my life. I\u2019ve especially been thinking about the Females in Finance club, which I\u2019m not the only leader of but it\u2019s just weird to kind of pass on something that you\u2019ve spent hundreds of hours on and just giving it to somebody else and trusting them to care about it and spend the same amount of hours that you put into it when you\u2019re gone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m also going halfway across the country, which just feels like such a large step. I know that I can handle it but at the same time it\u2019s just a lot to process. But I\u2019m really excited for it. I think that something I didn\u2019t really do at high school was prioritize having fun and hanging out with my friends. It’s something I really want to experience more of in college. I\u2019m going to be in Nashville, which is super fun and exciting. I\u2019m really ready to explore the city and dedicate time to making connections and making friends. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I think a lot of people from Fieldston will be visiting each other in college. For instance, all the people going to school in California will be close to each other and can visit each other kind of whenever. But I\u2019m not really close to anybody [geographically]. I mean there\u2019s one other kid in my grade who\u2019s going to school with me but besides that, I think the closest friend that I have is in Georgia for college. So, it\u2019s definitely going to be weird to be so far away from everyone that I know. I\u2019m trying to plan on making trips to visit people. I want to take a trip to California and visit all my friends there and also visit all my friends near New York. But really I\u2019m just going to miss everybody. I know that there is room for new friendships but at the same time I don\u2019t want to let go of the ones I have, especially with my friends that are in other grades. I\u2019ve been trying to get people to come visit me and offer tours and that kind of thing but it\u2019s just weird because you create this own little bubble for yourself at Fieldston that\u2019s built with your support system and net of people. And then when that is totally split up, it\u2019s kind of frightening but also exciting because I know I\u2019ll build a new bubble. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m just really going to miss Fieldston and I know that it\u2019s a complicated environment sometimes, there\u2019s always a lot going on but honestly my experience has been overwhelmingly positive. And when I\u2019ve needed support, I\u2019ve always gotten support. And I don\u2019t particularly like hugs but if I ever needed a hug, then there was always someone available to give me a hug. And I\u2019m going to be sad to be leaving it because it\u2019s really been a positive experience for me all in all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Kia Rogers <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 10, 2021 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Being a woman of color at Fieldston is kind of a double-edged sword. Especially being a woman of color who grew up at Fieldston because I\u2019ve been here since kindergarten. On the one hand, you learn how to be around white people. Code switching becomes second nature to you. You learn how to present yourself in a way so that you won\u2019t be stereotyped in a certain crowd. And I guess that\u2019s kind of positive too because you can use them as tools for when you\u2019re trying to \u2018fit in\u2019 and be heard. For example, when it came to the students of color matter protest, when it comes to teaching white people or trying to make them understand how racism exists in our environment and how they contribute to it, they will be more likely to listen to me as someone who acts like them and has been around them for so long as opposed to someone that may not have assimilated to white culture. I guess it\u2019s also useful for colleges because most students of color at Fieldston still end up at predominantly white colleges as well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But I also think there\u2019s a lot of trauma that comes with being a person of color at Fieldston, especially growing up with these kids. I remember I didn\u2019t really know the implications of my race until eighth or ninth grade. I wasn\u2019t consciously aware of my race until then. Attention from boys is the first thing that made me realize \u201cokay I\u2019m different from these white girls.\u201d My friends were all white and would always get attention from boys and I wouldn\u2019t and I just like so confused at first. And then I just became really self-conscious about my hair and my nose and stuff like that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I realize, unfortunately, a lot of guys at Fieldston, or any predominantly white school for that matter, are attracted to white. This may simply be white people or people of color that have more white characteristics. And I guess there are a few exceptions like if you\u2019re a black girl with a curvy body, or you\u2019re light skin, or your hair isn\u2019t as curly, or you act a certain way but there\u2019s gotta be something in you that resembles whiteness for you to be attractive. Honestly, it doesn\u2019t matter if you are a girl or a guy. I think most people of color have experienced this, the only difference is the ways and words. All of it really affects your self-image. For me specifically, I struggled with my self-image and my personality from eighth grade to junior year. I didn\u2019t really know who I was because I was always fixing my personality to what other people expected because that\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned how to do for so long. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And then in senior year, especially if you are an ED student, you realize that Fieldston isn\u2019t everything and you get a glimpse of what the rest of the world looks like. And for me, that allowed me to be like \u201cWow, I am not happy with the person that I\u2019ve built at this school. But, I don\u2019t know how to change that because I\u2019m still going to school with these kids for the time being.\u201d So I think my senior year was navigating this realization and trying to be more true to myself while also not isolating myself from everyone around me. I did that for a month and a half. I didn\u2019t go to school or classes, didn\u2019t really talk to anyone and just isolated myself for some time. And that actually made things ten times worse so now, I\u2019m just trying to be present with myself while I\u2019m around other people. And I think at this point, I am not excited to leave Fieldston but I am ready to leave Fieldston. I think there\u2019s a difference because it\u2019s not that I\u2019m overjoyed I no longer have to go to school here, it\u2019s just that I\u2019ve had my journey in this school and I don\u2019t really have anything holding me back to it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniel Silverstein <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 10, 2021 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n As a student at Fieldston, I have mostly good things to say. Fieldston has allowed me to blossom into the person that I am. I don\u2019t think I would be as aware of the inequalities in the world or as passionate about social justice, climate change or politics, if it were not for Fieldston\u2014it\u2019s not a focus in a lot of the other \u201celite\u201d private schools in NYC. Fieldston\u2019s mission is something that my class has been a part of fighting for and I am proud of that. I\u2019ve seen student leadership and community bonding through SOCM and other events that have happened during my time here, and I am honored to have been a part of those important moments at Fieldston. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I do acknowledge that Fieldston definitely has its flaws. I think our mission and who we are at our core often come into conflict with who we\u2019ve become, especially with the eliteness of our school and the tuition. We want to be this elite institution but we also want to touch upon ethics and equality\u2014and that\u2019s great. We attract people who are passionate about making the world a better place and about caring for one another, but at the same time, we attract really well to do families and there\u2019s often a juxtaposition between those two things. That doesn\u2019t mean someone can\u2019t have money and be really socially aware and ethical but it does mean that there can be some tension within a community like ours. And when you talk about inclusion, a $60,000 tuition is not inclusive at all. Things like that are things that the school will grapple with and will continue to figure with for years to come\u2014the balance between our mission and our identity as an institution. There\u2019s going to need to be a change within the school and its mission. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But all of that being said, I think what makes Fieldston so special is the people\u2014because they are truly so, so great. I\u2019ve also had incredible experiences being a leader in different aspects of the community. I\u2019ve gotten to follow my passions within the community and meet so many amazing people through STS, MERGE, and varsity soccer. I\u2019ve made so many friendships that I hope to cherish for a really long time. People tell me that you only stay friends with a few people from high school, but I don\u2019t know. I really feel like I am going to have a big batch of friends who will stick with me as we go through our journeys in college and beyond. Plus, since Fieldston has such an open campus, it\u2019s easy to build intergrade connections. Last year, I was really close with the seniors and this year I\u2019ve gotten a chance to get to know some of the juniors more closely. I really value that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are so many great people in the class of 2021 that I\u2019m really going to miss. During junior year, we were just starting to get close as a whole grade and become less cliquey. We were on track to becoming a really unified grade and everyone was sort of branching out and forming new connections. It really sucked that we weren\u2019t able to experience second semester of junior year or first semester of senior year together as a grade. I think everyone really tried to make up for it this semester. It makes me so sad that I\u2019m not going to get back that year\u2014and the time I missed with the people I love and have called family for so long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Going into junior year, we were all hype to be upperclassmen. We got our first taste of Poly, our first taste of homecoming, our first taste of being an upperclassmen. But then COVID hit out of the blue and none of us really expected how serious it was going to get, or how impactful and painful the next year would be. Everyone really was going through something; whether it was someone within your immediate family or in your larger circle, we all knew someone who was affected by COVID. And on top of the pandemic, a lot of people were really struggling in one way or another mentally. It was a hard time for everyone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n While I\u2019m always going to look back and be a little sour about the year we lost, there are things that came out of it that we all can be grateful for. In a way, COVID kind of centered everyone and reminded us to really value our last few moments together. It allowed us to really reflect and see what is important, the relationships we\u2019ve formed and the little moments we often take for granted. After all the bickering and discussions with the administration, we are able to have two days together as a whole grade after a year apart. I think we are all grateful for that time together, and we are able to socialize outside of school, but it\u2019s just unfortunate that we don’t get that picture perfect end to our high school experience or the senior year that we all were kind of excited for. I think now we\u2019re at a point where we\u2019re just trying to make the best of everything! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Fieldston is just such a special place and, while yes, it has its imperfections and places for improvement (that I hope the younger classes recognize and work on), I\u2019ve loved my time here. I know my class definitely felt the responsibility as seniors to fight for a better experience for everyone because we love it so much. We want to see the school improve because there\u2019s just so much potential to blossom as a student. The idea that there\u2019s an institution that teaches you from a young age about the real world and the inequalities that exist, how it impacts you, how you may contribute, and most importantly how you can be part of positive change is really special and something we need more of in this divided world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve definitely taken a lot out of my experience as a Fieldston student. I\u2019ll always remember Fieldston for the incredible friends I\u2019ve made and teachers I\u2019ve had. I\u2019m really going to miss It here and look back at my time fondly!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aksel Katz<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 10, 2021<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s weird that I\u2019m leaving Fieldston because I\u2019ve only been here for four years and it\u2019s been such a crazy time. We\u2019ve had a chaotic and tumultuous time. We had the pandemic, we had Trump, we\u2019ve had horrific racial incidents, it\u2019s been a little crazy. But I think what I\u2019ve learned is just to take the light and take the happiness and joy of every moment. Always see the good side of someone, the good side of something. And with that, just have fun because life sucks. Well, to a certain extent because life is also beautiful and hard but take the light. Have some good cheese. And with whatever you do, just make sure to appreciate it. Appreciate every little second because it goes by so quickly. Appreciate the people you meet and your friends and everything life has to offer because it\u2019s all just one so quickly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I truly relish all the memories I have at Fieldston, especially conversations with teachers and discussions in class. It\u2019s just so much fun to hear so many different perspectives, some a little controversial and contentious. My favorite memories have just been with my friends, the little moments, the little cracks of smiles and jokes and laughter and just other little moments. I can\u2019t exactly set up a scene of all my favorite moments but just conversations in the hallways, meeting new people, that kind of thing. There\u2019s just such a warm atmosphere here at Fieldston. I love walking down the hallways. I loved it when I visited it and I loved it while I was a student here. There\u2019s just so much warmth that really emanates from the walls here and I truly love that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Something I’ve really appreciated about Fieldston has been the teachers. I think one thing that has really improved throughout the years has been my writing. Having teachers like Ms. Gruder in freshman year and more, just knowing the amount of care and effort they put into us has been amazing. Earlier today, I was just sitting in Montera\u2019s room and just listening to some WQXR which he recommended which is just gorgeous. Everyone from Dr. Jones (both of them) are incredibly inspiring, Dr. Blaney has been amazing, really a huge force in my academic and intellectual interests, and everyone in between. It\u2019s been so amazing. Fieldston is just so cool with it\u2019s wealth of teachers and personalities. And people you can\u2019t find in other schools. I just really love that about Fieldston. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s weird to think about leaving Fieldston and going off to college. Especially now. I\u2019m going to college in Canada and it\u2019s just going to be so different. For example, Canada is a bit behind the United States with their vaccination numbers. So things are a little bit different there. And so, it\u2019s a little weird to think about going to college there. But it\u2019s going to be so much fun being in a different city, being in a different country and meeting vastly different people and hearing very different perspectives and just being thrown into it. I\u2019m a little nervous about being thrown into the world after high school but I\u2019m so excited about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Jaclyn Olsen<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 11, 2021<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m already nostalgic for the beginning of ninth grade. I kind of wish that I was in eighth grade again. I miss the anticipation I felt going into the upper school. Walking the halls of the Upper School as an eighth grader, there was just this certain vibe, especially in the 100s building\u2014something about the 100s building was to me the physical manifestation of what I thought the Fieldston high school was. Just the rooms, and the couches and all the unique decorations the teachers put up really shaped what I thought all of Fieldston was going to be like. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But, I never really felt like I had the experience that I thought I was going to have in the upper school. Then again, I think there is a certain ineffability to it. I don\u2019t really know what I was expecting. Perhaps it\u2019s due to COVID, perhaps it\u2019s due to other factors in my life, but I never really felt like I had that bonding that I thought I was going to have. Something I was really hoping for and expecting as part of my upper school experience was community. I thought that I\u2019d feel a truly deep sense of community, and bonding, and care for each other. I thought that there would be a lot of intergrade friendships. But in reality, it all felt so separated. The ninth grade was its own thing, the tenth grade was off in the yonder and then there was finally some mixing in eleventh and twelfth grade. Once you\u2019re an upperclassmen, your friendships change a bit because you\u2019re now in classes together. But, because of COVID, I didn\u2019t get to have that with the grade above me or even with the grade below me, as much as I would have wanted. I was never able to find that sense of community I was always looking for at Fieldston. I gave up the search until I didn\u2019t. In the final hours of my senior year, I really tried for it. My advisory, a micro-community that I\u2019ve always cherished, designed a themed sweatshirt. On the back are the nicknames and inside jokes we curated over the years. My nickname was \u201cJackie-O-No-Show\u201d \u2014 the inspiration being my lack of school spirit and, well, of showing up. I think that was the proper amount of bullying to get me to show up. And that has made all the difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As for my classroom experiences, I wanted more free discussion, just that liberal arts vibe in my classes more. That\u2019s not to say that my classes weren\u2019t discussion-based, but I felt that there could\u2019ve been more free association and stream-of-consciousness contributions on the students\u2019 ends, rather than calculated and selective comments. But I do think the Upper School nurtured my love of learning, Dr. Voldoire\u2019s classes, especially. Her ninth grade history class instilled a perfect intellectual curiosity in me. It was in the way she taught : she was able to make a daunting, seemingly intangible canon accessible to my ninth grade self. I just found it so interesting, so I also took European Intellectual History with her my junior year. Being able to choose my classes, and being in Dr. Voldoire\u2019s class kind of helped with that. For most of 9th and 10th grade, I was desperately seeking the version of myself I thought I wanted to be, and I finally knew what I wanted junior and senior year. <\/p>\n\n\n\n POSTSCRIPT: on the status quo at ECFS. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I believe, when Fieldston took on the elite private school identity, it adulterated its philosophy and practice of ethical culture; as long as this identity dissonance remains unresolved, the community will continue to suffer its consequences. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Alexa Potter <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 11, 2021 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I started at Fieldston in pre-k, and the fourteen-year club coming up has made me start reflecting on what it means to have gone to basically one school my whole life. I think it\u2019s really impactful that I grew up around a lot of the same people and watched how we turned into incredibly different humans. I remember being in elementary school being like, \u201coh, I wonder what we\u2019re going to be like when we\u2019re in fifth grade we\u2019re going to be so old,\u201d and that shifting to \u201coh, I wonder what we\u2019re going to be like in middle school and what we\u2019re going to look like\u201d and that shifting to \u201coh I wonder what we\u2019re going to be like when we\u2019re seniors and how different we\u2019re going to be then.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Personally, I think that Fieldston has given me the space to become a person that I can be proud of. I mean, I know there\u2019s a lot about Fieldston that\u2019s not perfect. There are some negative experiences, but I\u2019m really happy with my time at Fieldston, looking back at everything. Even the flaws and the hardships I went through shaped me into who I am today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In life, all these little moments really impact you, even if you can\u2019t immediately tell. A lot of these moments took place during my time at ECFS. This is so random, but I remember in elementary school, I had a friend who always liked to run around on the roof of Ethical. But then, she would always disappear because she had nose bleeds. I got used to her sudden disappearances, and I learned how to entertain myself. It feels so random, but I think I learned how to be by myself and be okay with not always being with somebody else. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Another big example is in middle school, I had a friend who was really into poetry. Since she was really into poetry, I started to look into poetry. And then, I started to love poetry. Eventually, through poetry in general and through poetry classes at Fieldston, it became one of the ways I started to make sense of my identity and place in the world. Poetry really helped me learn how to process the things around me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When I was in seventh grade, I had a pretty tough year (a full-circle moment because now I am an STS leader for seventh grade). Socially, I was figuring out new things, and it was weird. I was just an angsty seventh grader, and I didn\u2019t know what to do with my emotions. So, I started writing really informal notes on my Notes App, and it just kind of morphed into prose poetry. But then, at Fieldston, we had one of these poetry workshops, which is when I started gaining some skills for my poetry. I kept doing that throughout middle school and high school, and it\u2019s really cool because I can look back on all my writings and see how I have evolved and grown. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Poetry was only meant to be only for myself, so it was a place where I could be super honest. And I look back at my work sometimes, and I\u2019m like, \u201cWoah, I didn\u2019t even realize I thought that.\u201d I was part of running the poetry assembly my junior year, where I read a poem in front of the whole school, which was absolutely terrifying, and I hated it. Still, I also loved it because it was kind of this culminating moment where I was sharing poetry with many people for the first time. I never thought that I would ever get to the point where I would be so vulnerable in front of a whole group of people for something that started out as something that was just for myself. And that\u2019s kind of an example of how I matured in Fieldston; I gained skills through classes and the peers around me to create immense self-growth, which I was then able to share with my community. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ananda Vidal-Burgie<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 13, 2021 <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s hard to say specific things about the culmination of thirteen years of my life. I mean, I started in Kindergarten, in 2008, which is ridiculous to think about. I vividly remember my first day at Fieldston. I remember everyone was crowded around outside of the kindergarten classrooms and we had to wait one by one to have our names called so that we could separate into groups and I was the first person to get called and I just remember being so excited just to hear my name. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And just on the first day, I remember making so many friends and it was just kind of immediate and everyone was so nice. I think it\u2019s such a unique experience to still be around those people who were still there on your first day of school in kindergarten and being able to be like \u201coh remember when we were in second grade and we did this and that.\u201d I think it\u2019s just a very unique relationship to have with someone. You can\u2019t really call these people you\u2019ve known for so long your siblings because that\u2019s just not what they are. But also who else has known you for like thirteen years other than someone who\u2019s like a sibling figure?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think something associated with the social life at Fieldston is \u201ccliquiness.\u201d But I think it’s more like people with similar interests gravitate towards one another. And it\u2019s important to have those people because you know if you go to them, there\u2019s already going to be an understanding and a shared interest. I think that\u2019s really special and really important. I think it\u2019s different from cliques because it\u2019s not like you can\u2019t join us, everyone\u2019s usually welcome within different friend groups but it just makes sense for people with shared interests to be together most of the time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a black woman, being at Fieldston has been a very specific experience that comes with different components. But, for the most part, I actually think that my experience here amongst my peers was built with allyship and support. I think the majority of the problems at Fieldston come from the administration who don\u2019t really stand up for students of color when it is their position to do so. In terms of other schools, I think Fieldston is a bit more open to things. Also, everyone here at Fieldston has a really good sense of community. The idea of cyberbullying someone or physically bullying them were never really problems here, which is something I really appreciate about the environment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Going off into college now, I\u2019m honestly very scared because I\u2019ve been going here for thirteen years. I also live right across the street from Fieldston so I don\u2019t really know any other environment besides Fieldston and Riverdale. While on one hand, I\u2019m very prepared to move on because as an older person I don\u2019t really have a place here anymore. But at the same time I know that wherever I go isn\u2019t going to be what I\u2019ve known so it\u2019s exciting and very scary all at once. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Victoria Thomas <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n May 13, 2021<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Before I came to Fieldston, I didn\u2019t have a deep understanding of what race is. I knew that there were people that looked like me and there were people that didn\u2019t. But, I didn\u2019t really understand what came with that. I didn\u2019t understand racism or discrimination. And then I came to Fiedlston and all of a sudden, race was in my face all the time. Developing my sense of race when I came to Fieldston was honestly pretty traumatic. The ways in which I was learning about race was by me getting hurt and me being in pain. It wasn\u2019t being taught in a lesson by parents or in a class, it was very much just \u201cWas this person being racist towards me? I don\u2019t even understand what racism is. All I know is that their comment hurts and this feels horrible and I\u2019ve never experienced this before.\u201d As long as I can remember, every year something racially insensitive has happened, whether it was directed at me, inside a class, or within our school as a whole. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Leaving now, I have very little respect for this school because I\u2019ve had a very traumatic experience as a result of my race. It almost overwhelms the other experiences I\u2019ve had here, which is really sad because I\u2019ve met some amazing people here. I love my friends, I love my teachers, and all the other people I\u2019ve met here. But overall, when I think about this school, I think about how it doesn\u2019t care about me or any of its other students of color. I hope that people can really acknowledge and start to learn how traumatic the Fieldston experience is for students of color. There\u2019s always some racial incident here. And, I know a lot of people think \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have been so involved in those issues,\u201d but it\u2019s hard not to get involved when you are directly being affected. I didn\u2019t have to talk to the administration, I didn\u2019t have to do all that but when you\u2019re constantly under attack and not cared for, you have no choice but to get involved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I honestly can\u2019t imagine going here since pre-k and I\u2019m so grateful that I didn\u2019t. If I had, I think I would\u2019ve left far more traumatized than right now. Fortunately, I\u2019ve been able to detach myself from the trauma and I\u2019m ending my senior year and my time at Fieldston very happy. I\u2019ve been through a lot of shit since I\u2019ve been here, I\u2019ve struggled with a lot. But I\u2019m leaving here in a good place and that\u2019s really all that matters for me. But at the same time, I am scared for students of color at this school. I teach STS and we have to teach a lesson on Students of Color Matter and it\u2019s embarrassing that I\u2019m teaching them and I\u2019m saying \u201cOh there\u2019s been so much progress\u201d even though that is not at all what is happening. Even though there have been a few institutional changes, what matters the most is the culture change. And that\u2019s not happening at all, and there’s been no steps towards changing it. We\u2019re giving these kids false hope, which is really dangerous. When you have false hope, you end up getting more hurt at the end because you end up feeling greater disappointment. And that\u2019s what happened to me after the sophomore year protest. I really thought that things were going to get so much better but it hadn\u2019t at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve considered leaving this school multiple times and I\u2019m grateful that I was able to make it through because I know not everyone can. In a way, it is rewarding to know that I am able to leave Fieldston without letting this place destroy me.I leave this school hoping that it will get better but knowing that it won\u2019t. I don\u2019t recommend this school for students of color, at least not now, at least not in the next five years or so. I\u2019m hoping that the students of color in the future grades will be strong enough to make some more changes. But I don\u2019t think it\u2019s their responsibility. No matter what they do, I\u2019m proud of them for surviving Fieldston because I know how hard it is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n My advice for the incoming students of color would be to never shut up about the way that you are being treated. Never let it happen. Whatever you have to do to advocate for yourself, do it. I think a lot of my classmates view me as a stereotype, as an angry black girl and the truth is I am an angry black girl. I am a black girl and I am angry about how I\u2019ve been treated as a black girl. That\u2019s not something I\u2019m going to apologize for and I don\u2019t think it should be something anyone should apologize for. That is something to take pride in and something to use to your advantage. It\u2019s very easy to not say anything, to keep moving, to keep your mouth shut. But, at the end of the day, it\u2019s going to hurt you more than it’s going to help you. You\u2019re going to tear yourself apart for not truly standing up for something that you believe in. If you think that you are being treated poorly, then speak up for yourself and let it be known. You have to fight and advocate for yourself. But you shouldn\u2019t do it at the expense of your mental health. If you need to step back and take a break from social justice, you should. As a student of color, you have to prioritize your mental health over everything else. Over friends, over school work, over social justice, over administration. Your mental health comes first or else you will not be able to make it through this school unscathed. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For my final journalism project, I wanted to create a new feature of the Fieldston News called Humans of Fieldston (the Fieldston version of Humans of New York). My goal is to interview people in the community and share their stories. To start off my project, I decided to interview several seniors and commemorate them before they go off into the world. It\u2019s not easy to sum up your Fieldston experience but these seniors shared<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":271,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[347,318],"tags":[],"coauthors":[389],"class_list":["post-5394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-community","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/271"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5394"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5396,"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5394\/revisions\/5396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5394"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fieldstonnews.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=5394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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