Summer break! Three whole months with no homework, no obligations and no school. Total freedom! Gosh, what should I do to pass the time? There are virtually endless possibilities. Oh, I know: MORE school! Yes, it’s true: I decided to spend my summer break reading, studying and writing essays. I participated in the Brown University Pre-College program where students from all over the world take two-week courses taught by Brown University faculty.
I enrolled in “Hysterical, Crazy, Insane: Madness in World Literature.” The course covered literary works that depict mental illness. We read chapters of Sylvia Plath’s novel “The Bell Jar,” chapters of Miguel de Cervantes’ novel “Don Quixote” and watched Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dalí’s short film “Un Chien Andalou.” The class was discussion-based. Most of the time was spent talking about the sources with my peers, who approached the material with the same enthusiasm I did.
Our final project was to write a four-page paper on readings from the class. I was assigned Clarise Lispector’s novel “The Passion According to G.H.” My professor suggested that I research surrealism and figure out how Lispector used it as a tool to drive her narrative. I accepted the assignment and thought, how hard could it be? I read (a lot), and so this should be easy. I realized that I was wrong. “The Passion” is written in a nonlinear format, and most of the text consists of the speaker’s internal monologue, not the actual story. There are parts where it is nearly impossible to distinguish between the story and what the speaker is imagining. I felt as if I was spinning. The book did not make sense. So I switched over to researching surrealism and I realized that “not making sense” was the point. Surrealism is when the artist tries to simulate a dream-like state in the readers, which Lispector actually did excellently.
I was confronted with the degree of my ignorance. In my short sixteen years I thought I understood many things about literature and art. I read books other than the ones assigned to us at school. I thought I understood things. I knew that there was always more to learn, but I never understood the magnitude of knowledge I have yet to discover.
My first instinct was to panic: why is it that there is so much I don’t know? I want to learn as much as I possibly can, which is why I decided to participate in the college program in the first place. While at Brown I felt the weight of the world’s knowledge: it’s intimidating. There is so much to learn and so little time. I will never be able to read every book, watch every film, visit every country or learn every language. I am not sure where to begin.
I think it is valuable to start by acknowledging my naivety. I am barely halfway through high school. I have my entire life ahead of me to gain knowledge with more experience. Brown Pre-College Program offered a glimpse into college life, but more importantly it showed me how important learning is to me.
