“I just want you guys to have fun. Be teenagers. Have a good time. We have carried some heavy things with us, I want you to have joy and school to be a fun place,” said Dr. Stacey Bobo, Upper School Principal. In the midst of navigating a tumultuous time for the school, her primary concern is the well-being of all students.
“There is so much going on in the world and you are all trying to save it, and you will, I believe you will save us,” she said emphatically. “I also want us to learn how to argue respectfully and to know our teachers care about us, that no one is out to get you and you feel safe here.”
Warm and dynamic, Bobo has started this year, her third year at Fieldston, hoping students will approach all community members with grace. “We aren’t perfect,” she said. “When anyone, even if it’s your friend, makes a mistake, give a little grace before we jump to conclusions and make judgments. It’s hard for everyone, not just the kids – everyone. If you look at TV we don’t even give grace to one another in politics.”
Politics is on the minds of administrators and faculty as the November presidential election approaches. According to Bobo, the school has not planned any special programming in response to the election outcome but is discussing the election behind the scenes.
“This community is pretty liberal, so in many things, we are probably more Democratic than we are Republican, but we also recognize that there are Republicans in our community. If there are two students having an argument, the strategies that [the BSI team] gave us are how do we make sure that everyone is heard, and if people say something inaccurate, ask ‘tell me more,’” said Bobo.
Bobo understands how personal background can shape political ideas. “As a person of color, I am looking through a very different lens. When I am making those statements I am looking through that lens. We are all looking through different lenses,” she said.
She emphasized how fraught political discussions can be due to these differences in perspective, but believes respectful discourse is possible when people ask questions instead of becoming combative. “Everybody wants to be right. Both parties can truly be right,” she said.
Now, a new school policy has been implemented to guide discussions on controversial topics. According to Bobo, the respectful discourse policy was influenced by NYSAIS standards and created by a collection of individuals including three faculty members, members of the administration and the restorative justice practitioners Fieldston often works with, Jason Craig Harris and Cara Raich. Faculty and administration received professional development on September 23 to learn strategies to implement the document.
For Bobo, “some things are very clear,” citing the example of stickers in support of either presidential candidate as clear policy violations. Other situations are less straightforward. “I don’t want to censor art,” she said. Recently, a faculty member asked Bobo whether a student making a sculpture of a uterus with the words “hands off” would be allowed. “I don’t know – that sounds like an OK piece of art to me!” she said.
The Respectful Discourse policy’s goal, said Bobo, is to get to the point of agreeing to disagree. “It’s not perfect. We think it’s a good start, we think it’s a way to put some guardrails from parents, faculty and students,” she said.
Bobo understands the complexities of the current moment, both at Fieldston and in the wider societal context. “There is a lot of change coming on in the world, from climate change to reproductive rights to the war in the Middle East. This community is more pluralistic than I thought. I always knew it had a little bit of everybody, but it really has everybody,” she said.
Throughout all the changes, Bobo has maintained optimism. “I believe this is a great place. I believe we have great students and you guys are going to do amazing things in the world,” she said.
She added, “I think we can find our way if we all understand that we aren’t always going to get our way.”
