You’ve heard of Mount Everest, you’ve heard of the Colosseum, but have you heard of the junior grass?
You will likely insist that there’s already a senior grass, we are aware. But, you know what they say, when life gives other people lemonade and you’re jealous, go make yourself some until you can steal theirs. And this is exactly the predicament that we are in today.
Don’t worry sophomores; we bet there’s room for some shrubbery you can claim up in the 700s or wherever it is that no one goes to. And freshmen, fall is right around the corner that is around the corner of summer which is right around the corner of now! In other words, you’ll get your time soon.
Another thing you might be thinking: does this take the spotlight off the senior grass? Guess what, the answer to that is no! Luckily for seniors the junior grass thrives under a location that absolutely no one goes to! It has one bench instead of the spoiled alternative seniors get (two benches AND a table), plus it’s uncomfortably small for large gatherings of people. It’s perfect; a humble way of living life to the fullest!
Now, there is one advantage that the junior grass holds that might be a bit intimidating for other grass competitors; it is sponsored by the Juice and Cheese Club at Fieldston. And if cheese comes from cows and cows eat grass, then this coincidence is too full circle to ignore!
And of course, when it comes to very valuable things there is always the question of heredity. Who will inherit the junior grass when the junior’s are no longer juniors? Lucky for us, the junior grass does not operate under the strident rules of the senior grass. It will instead become an extension of the senior grass when the juniors age up. After their graduation it will hopefully sit untouched for the foreseeable future. Until, perhaps in a millennia or so, some not quite equally bright students stumble upon it and claim it as their own.
