We walked into the auditorium of the Student Diversity Leadership Conference (SDLC) fifteen minutes late, our breakfasts in hand. In a conference filled with over 1,400 students from independent schools all across America, it somehow didn’t occur to us to wake up early to get to the breakfast line. As I ate my breakfast, I listened to the speaker at the front of the room, Rodney Glasgow, as he welcomed all of us to the conference. At the moment, I didn’t think much about the words that were being said. In fact, his words actually never had a profound effect on me until the conference was over. “Welcome to SDLC,” he had said, “Welcome home.”
The atmosphere in the large auditorium: hesitant. When Rodney stopped speaking there was some nervous buzz in the room. I sat with five other kids from Fieldston – five faces I recognized, and five faces that provided me with a sense of security. However, it was not too long before Rodney announced that we were to switch up our seating so that we were sitting next to two strangers. The Fieldston students nodded at each other and left wordlessly, silently saying goodbye and acknowledging our adventure to come.
After we switched seats, the room became filled with small talk, which inevitably occurs you are surrounded by strangers. The first activity was an identifier activity, a sort of get-to-you-know-game on a grand scale. There were statements regarding the eight main personal identifiers: race, ethnicity, gender, ability, religion, socioeconomic class, sexual orientation, and age. After each statement, the speaker would instruct us to “please stand if you identify with this statement. Please remain seated if you don’t. Observe the people standing, and those who remain seated. Reflect on either position.” The students who stood gave each other understanding looks, and those seated did the same. The look between a standing student and a seated student read as, “I see who you are, and I may not understand it, but I accept you.” Atmosphere: tolerant.
Over a period of three days at the conference, we spent our time divided into family and affinity groups (randomly assorted groups of around 30 people). The purpose of these groups was to learn about the eight main social identifiers and to build awareness. However, they were also intended for each individual to open up with thoughts and feelings if he or she wanted to. It provided students with a safe environment to speak their mind without backlash or judgment. “SDLC gave me a safe place to be fully myself and know that no one could judge me,” says Gabrielle Silberman, who attends Berkeley Preparatory School in Tampa, Florida. “It also gave me the courage I needed to speak out and speak up,” she adds. As for myself, I’ve never been in a community filled with so much acceptance and compassion. During my time at SDLC, I was able to go up to any person or group of people and start talking. There was no fear in going to sit at a random table at lunch, knowing that whoever sat there would be friendly to you. “The atmosphere of the entire conference was like something out of a fairy tale,” says Scott Roper of the Collegiate School in Virginia, “I could go up to anyone and interact with them with no fear of judgment; everyone was my best friend and I theirs.” “When there are [individuals] coming together for a purpose larger than [him or herself],” says Ashley Elson, form V, “there’s a feeling of unity, and from that comes feelings of comfort, acceptance, and love.” In my opinion, it was the people that really made SDLC such a good experience for me.
The closing ceremony of the Student Diversity Leadership Conference was when Rodney’s words from the first day finally hit home. In a mere three days, I was able to make the hotel in which the conference was held a home, and the people a family. I don’t think it is an overstatement to say that most of us were crying when we were allowed to go up to the microphone and say a few words about our experience. The conference led at least five students to openly come out of the closet, and/or finally let their parents know of their sexual orientation. SDLC was a safe space, one that I will never forget. Each person showed vulnerability, accepting others without hesitation and without needing a reason to. The atmosphere: loving.
